Here's how I tricked my hooman to cook me the yummies turkey leg. She didn't want to give it to me, but who say say no to these puppy dog eyes?
The Easiest Home-Cooked Turkey
Trust me. Anyone can cook this for Thanksgiving. Even the hooman that smells good but doesn’t always make the best smells in the kitchen.
Mama Pepper’s (Hooman that smells good) Recipe
1 Turkey (between 12-18 lbs. It just depends on how many furbabies you plan on feeding)
4 Sticks of Butter
2 Packets of Onion Soup Mix
4 BIG Yellow Onions
2 Tablespoons of Flour
1 Turkey Bag & Twist Tie
Roster Pan (or baking pan if you are in a pinch)
Cook at 350°
For every pound, cook 15 minutes.
Mama Pepper’s (Hooman that smells good) Cooking Steps
In 21 simple steps...
Leave frozen turkey out for a few days to make the kitchen smell good even if it hasn’t been cooked yet and to make me drool. (I swear this is just to spite me. Plus, she acts like this turkey wasn’t being made for me. Silly hooman.) You can keep it in your fridge. It doesn’t matter. I can still smell the yummy goodness.
Leave 4 sticks of butter out for a few hours to get soft.
Take turkey out of fridge and plastic bag.
Let your furbaby lick the yummy goodness off of the plastic bag. IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU DON’T SKIP THIS STEP! Skipping this step could result in upset puppies.
Gently peel skin of turkey off of the juicy, yummy meat of the turkey. Mama takes her rings off before this step so she doesn’t tear the turkey. She also takes out the red timer popup thingy so it doesn’t tear the skin either.
Once the skin is look from the turkey meat, take a chunk of the butter and rub between the meat and the skin of the turkey. Don’t be afraid to really load up on the butter and get in there. This will lock in the juiciness. She uses 2 sticks of butter to cover all of the turkey.
Rub 1 stick of butter on the outside of the turkey.
Rub 1 stick of butter on the inside of the turkey.
Take the onion soup packet mix and pour some into your hand and rub between the meat and the turkey skin. You’ll use 1 packet to cover.
Use 1 packet of onion soup mix to cover outside of the turkey. Note: this will cause your mouth to water. Don’t let your mama see you lick your chops because she will get mad than you’re hoovering so close and tell you lies that you aren’t getting any.
Wash hands.
Peel 4 onions.
Cut 4 onions in half.
Put 2 tablespoons of flour in bag and shake it up so that it lightly dusts all the bag.
Slid turkey in bag. Dad hooman usually helps Mama hooman out with this because she always gets the biggest turkey possible.
Place bagged turkey in the roaster or baking pan.
Slide halved onions under the turkey (inside the bag) so that the turkey rests on them.
Stick the red popup timer thingy back into the turkey.
Use the twist tie to wrap up the turkey.
Cook at 350° until finished. Again, Mama hooman cooks for what seems like hours, until the red timer popup thingy sticks out AND that it doesn’t give us food poison.
After fully baked, take out of oven and remove bag. If you are feeling generous, you'll just place this on the floor instead of the kitchen table.
Pux Pepper’s Foodie Samplin' Tricks
Mama hooman always says you should sample your supper before serving anyone. I agree. Fully! So I make sure that I’m really close by (sit on her feet if I have to). This is the prime location to gobby up any dropped meaty yum yums and butter drippin’s.
But here’s the tricky part. Getting the turkey leg. It doesn’t always happen, but on occasion the leg slips from Mama’s hand (thank you butter fingers) and falls to the floor. When this does, you may hear Dad hooman yell "5 Second Rule."
*Laughs*
Like it would take me 5 seconds to get that in my mouth.
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Moderate!
